How to Get Rid of Conduit for Good – Volume 2

remove conduit to moscow

Remove Conduit to Moscow!

Hello again, Mike here. I noticed Cindy did not write anything yet, which I think is a secret sign that I am winning her over and her defenses are starting to break. See, in that last post, I gave some very good reasons as to why we had to remove Conduit from our house. I even offered to send him on a wonderful vacation far away, at this point I am considering Alaska or Moscow. I think it is important for everyone, especially cats, to get out and see the world. This is one of the many reasons that I think we have to get rid of Conduit.

 

He just spends his time in his lazy boy chair, chugging down my beers like they were milk, and is not seeing the world. I am starting to worry that Conduit will lose his social skills if he does not leave soon, and that is why Conduit must go. I already have a great travel agent that can send him packing- I mean help Conduit to pack up any and all necessities that he will need for his adventure. I’ll make sure he has enough milk for the flight, but no beers, as he might get arrested going through airport security. I mean, if I saw that cat I would think he was suspicious. I am thinking Cindy is beginning to come around to my way of thinking, my more logical analytical and sound reasoning, and that is why she has not posted anything recently. Age-old logic and reason beat out sentimentality any day, right? I am sure Cindy will be back soon posting about how badly we have to get rid of Conduit, and then I can finally go back to hitting the gym without worry of Conduit losing his ability to meet other felines. Until next time, fellow cat-removal supporters!
#MikeTheWinner

How to Get Rid of Conduit for Good

This past holiday season could not have been more festive, except for the extended stay of our own little orange santa-claws. I tried putting him back up the chimney, but Cindy would have nothing of it. Must be a chick thing?

Holiday with Conduit the cat

Also, I think I am seeing things. I was on Google maps the other day searching for a simple way to get rid of Conduit and send him on his vacation, when Conduit Road in Hong Kong came up. I clicked on Conduit Road and I started liking it more and more. It is very high up within the city and a perfect place for Conduit the Cat to visit for an extended period of time. And what is up with Cindy talking about my belly and my beers? I think she should be worried how Conduit is able to imbibe so much alcohol while keeping off the weight. It’s just not natural. Besides, I have only been gaining weight because Conduit is making me eat too much ice cream. With Conduit taking all of the affections of my wife Cindy, and my beers as well, I have sunk into a depression that causes me to fill the void with Ice Cream. That is my psyche-ological issue. Ha! If it were that simple! I am perfectly fine, except that I am getting Cat-itis, a rare form of a very dangerous condition in which I have to tolerate a small furry beast that pretends to be cute, but is really conniving. I am not sure yet of all of the side-effects of Cat-itis, but I would prefer not to find out. In fact, I really need to save Cindy too, so it is a shame that police officer had not read up on the dangers of Cat-itis on WebMD. He would not take Conduit in for being under the influence, and now Cindy and I are in real danger. That is why I really need to figure out a smart way to Get Rid of Conduit. Conduit must go and this time, he won’t be coming back…

#MikeTheCatWarriorRocks

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