Conduit + Cindy + Sun + Cocktails = F U N

Sun block, bikini for me and shimmery designer swimsuit for Conduit, passports, extra dollars for cocktails and massages… We are ready to GO! As for Mike.. blah blah blah. Whatever Mike, Conduit and I are going to have a whale of a time on our vacation and we don’t care about you licking Conduit’s cat food spoon, (which actually means that you are lying about eating Conduit’s food, but who cares) and we also don’t care if you book a ticket. I have hidden all the brochures and the itinerary of our trip well out of Mike’s reach so he will have no idea where we will be. Egypt is big and with his terrible sense of direction chances are that Mike will find himself in Libya or Sudan while we are soaking up the sun, sipping on cocktails and getting massages.

conduit on the beach?
Of course they will worship Conduit in Egypt and who knows, he might stay to be worshipped and fanned down with palm leaves and have delicious slivers of chicken livers carried to him on golden trays by beautiful Egyptian handmaidens. The only friends Conduit will be making are lady kitty friends impressed with his good looks and cool cat attitude. http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/funny/1154956.html. This is exactly the kind of life the most amazing cat in the world deserves.

On a serious note.. if Mike actually does come to Egypt to find us, he had better hope it’s not in a pyramid where we can ‘lose him’ in a dark passageway. Get rid of Conduit? How about we change this blog to Get rid of Mike!?

Dear Mike, my spoon-licking, cat-hating husband. It is best you leave your bags unpacked and stay at home. I am having the materials and plans for Conduit’s fancy new cat run delivered and I think it is a fantastic idea for you to start building it. It will help you get rid of that unattractive beer belly you’ve developed and keep you out of Conduit’s treats!

#Cindy_looking_forward_to_fun_in_the_sun (and a trimmed down husband!)

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Beware Conduit? We’ll see About That!

Flying to vacation with ConduitChicken soup? Dear Mike, I haven’t cooked chicken soup in years. While you were so consumed by wicked thoughts about ways to get rid of Conduit you obviously didn’t notice what you were eating. 
Now, I could be wrong… but I’d bet my bottom dollar that what Mike was eating was some of Conduit’s Purina Fancy Feast, probably his Sliced Chicken Hearts and Liver Feast in Gravy (http://www.fancyfeast.com/gourmet-cat-products/wet-cat-food/sliced/chicken-hearts-liver-feast-in-gravy). Look familiar? Yummy! Now I know why the pet food bill has gone up the past few weeks. Well, it is top rated gourmet cat food and if it is good enough for my Conduit, it has to be delicious, so go for it Mike – I am 100% behind your new eating regime.
Mike’s new diet will also help us save some much needed pocket money for my upcoming vacation with Conduit. Yes, I have decided to take matters into my own hands so Mike no longer has to figure out sneaky plans to get rid of Conduit. I am going to remove Conduit (and me!) from the house for a nice long vacation. Our plans are coming together nicely:
• Pet passport – CHECK
• Person passport – CHECK
• New matching designer vacation outfits for Conduit and I- CHECK


As soon as I can get my annual leave approved, we are hopping on a plane and out of here. Conduit and I are thinking Egypt – at least one place in the world where people know how to treat cats. Did you know that in Egypt killing a cat, even by accident, resulted in the death penalty? Don’t worry Mike… I’ll make sure the pantry is stocked with Purina so you won’t starve while Conduit and I are having fun in the hot African sun.

#Cindy_and_Conduit_Almost_Saying_au_Revoir

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