Get rid of Conduit? I Don’t Think so.

Not getting rid of Conduit

Look at this sweet little thing!! (Conduit – 4 weeks old)

Mike is Going to get rid of Conduit soon…
but, Cindy is going with!

Besides having to stop Mike from trying to get rid of Conduit, I had a great Christmas and by the look of my husband’s waistline, his Christmas could not have been too shabby either. All those beers he is accusing Conduit of swigging? Strange how they go down Conduit’s throat and settle on Mike’s belly… Wish I could eat cake that appears on somebody else’s hips! Well, it is always like that in January, getting over the indulgence of the festive season – some things just don’t change. Unfortunately, our domestic situation hasn’t changed much either. Mike is still not convinced that we should not get rid of Conduit and the situation has reached boiling point over the holiday season…
He talks about Conduit doing a number on his psyche when it has now become obvious that Mike is the one with psyche-ological issues. He is getting sneakier by the second. I heard him on the phone TRYING to give the police a drunk cat tip when I picked up the other extension. Luckily the operator was sensible enough to tell Mike that wasting a law enforcement officer’s time is a felony. Of course, Mike quickly hung up. Besides being so silly as to try to get a cop to kid(cat)nap Conduit, Mike has spent his days lazing about, doing nothing but plotting, guzzling beer and being horrible to Conduit. It looks pretty much like this, and also this.

He is using Conduit as a scapegoat for the beer drinking while also trying to get rid of Conduit at every opportunity. Sure, he pretends to love Conduit but I know it’s not real. What Mike failed to mention in his blog is that he pretended to like Conduit enough over the holidays to take him to the park for a walk but then left him there! He said Conduit ran away, but I know he was the one doing the running away from Conduit, abandoning a defenseless cat in the freezing cold. Luckily, Conduit is fit as well as clever and was wearing his pink glitter onesie to keep him warm – he eventually made his way back home. The poor kitty cat had icicles hanging from his whiskers. I had to cuddle him and feed him warmed up cat milk and cookies on his La-Z-Boy for hours before he felt a bit better. Mike is obviously not interested in spending time with Conduit for real so I think I’m booking a vacation somewhere warm for just me and Conduit soon!

#Cindy_looking_forward_to_a_vacation

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Merry Christmas and… No More for Plotting to get rid of Conduit!

Loud belch? That is Conduit whimpering in fear of being forcefully floated to space by Mike! Tie his little paws.. saying he is an alcoholic, calling him fat! How could Mike be so cruel? At first I thought we could sort this out with reasoning, I tried to suggest Mike take some time to get to know our kitty cat instead of plotting to get rid of Conduit but no, he is not interested. Then I thought I have to get tough to get through to him. Well getting tough didn’t work either. When I told Mike that the La-Z-Boy I got him for his birthday is now Conduit’s, he just moved it into the garage and locked Conduit out for good. Then, he started tormenting poor Conduit behind my back (yeah Mike, I see it!). Can you believe that he put scotch tape on Conduit’s paws? When I got home and saw it he said it’s to protect his leather couch from being scratched, but I saw him biting his cheeks, barely controlling cruel laughter. How horrible, poor Conduit was limping around all day long with nobody to comfort him. I also heard him calling Conduit names like fatso, nuisance, terror and ugly fur ball. He even called Conduit stinky farty-twinkle-toes when he was wearing his pink Hello Kitty onesie. Everybody knows that boys and girls can both now wear blue and pink. Does he not know he is hurting Conduit’s feelings? He is the one causing Conduit to comfort eat. If I was insulted all the time I would also be scoffing Ben & Jerry’s by the tub. For a while I lost hope of ever sorting this out and really feared that I could not stop Mike from executing his plan to get rid of Conduit but then I had a brainwave, and it’s all about Christmas. I know exactly what’s on my Christmas list and after Christmas it will be smooth sailing between Conduit and Mike.

Conduit’s Christmas List:

• His own La-Z-Boy
• An ‘I Love My Daddy’ vest like this http://www.miniinthebox.com/i-love-my-daddy-cool-vest-for-pets-dogs-assorted-sizes_p714906.html
• Some more cute cat outfits from Cat Toure http://www.cat-toure.com/category/hoodies
• The Ben & Jerry’s range
• A de-stressing day spa and massage voucher

Mike’s Christmas List:

• Self-help books
• Anger management classes
That should do it, by boxing day we should have all these issues ‘wrapped up’. The three of us could even go on holiday together in the new year.

#Sparkly_Cindy_Ready_For_Christmas

Christmas - How not to get rid of Conduit

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