Beware Conduit? We’ll see About That!

Flying to vacation with ConduitChicken soup? Dear Mike, I haven’t cooked chicken soup in years. While you were so consumed by wicked thoughts about ways to get rid of Conduit you obviously didn’t notice what you were eating. 
Now, I could be wrong… but I’d bet my bottom dollar that what Mike was eating was some of Conduit’s Purina Fancy Feast, probably his Sliced Chicken Hearts and Liver Feast in Gravy (http://www.fancyfeast.com/gourmet-cat-products/wet-cat-food/sliced/chicken-hearts-liver-feast-in-gravy). Look familiar? Yummy! Now I know why the pet food bill has gone up the past few weeks. Well, it is top rated gourmet cat food and if it is good enough for my Conduit, it has to be delicious, so go for it Mike – I am 100% behind your new eating regime.
Mike’s new diet will also help us save some much needed pocket money for my upcoming vacation with Conduit. Yes, I have decided to take matters into my own hands so Mike no longer has to figure out sneaky plans to get rid of Conduit. I am going to remove Conduit (and me!) from the house for a nice long vacation. Our plans are coming together nicely:
• Pet passport – CHECK
• Person passport – CHECK
• New matching designer vacation outfits for Conduit and I- CHECK


As soon as I can get my annual leave approved, we are hopping on a plane and out of here. Conduit and I are thinking Egypt – at least one place in the world where people know how to treat cats. Did you know that in Egypt killing a cat, even by accident, resulted in the death penalty? Don’t worry Mike… I’ll make sure the pantry is stocked with Purina so you won’t starve while Conduit and I are having fun in the hot African sun.

#Cindy_and_Conduit_Almost_Saying_au_Revoir

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Getting Rid of Conduit Won’t Be Easy, Darling

Mike thinks he’s got me on the run with his ideas on how to remove Conduit from my life. Doesn’t he understand that an exotic
vacation is EXACTLY what Conduit and I need… A vacation away from him that is. We don’t care if it’s Alaska, Moscow or Outer Mongolia, for that matter!
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So yes, Mike, I HAVE been taking your reason, logic and analytical thinking to heart and am sitting here with Conduit on the lazy boy chair leafing through travel magazines and applying for Conduit’s Pet Passport. You may think it’s going to be easy to get rid of Conduit – but Mike, dearest, it’s time to put on your big boy pants now and stop playing in the kitty litter.

Conduit has the most highly developed set of social skills on the planet. In fact his social, graces are continually putting Mike’s in the shade (probably why he gets so snippy about this sort of thing). My precious feline doesn’t need to ‘get out’ to be able to enjoy life – it’s Mike who needs to go to charm school!
It’s almost as if Mike has some kind of a mental block when it comes to trying so hard to get rid of Conduit. I’ll give you an example…

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