Chicken soup? Dear Mike, I haven’t cooked chicken soup in years. While you were so consumed by wicked thoughts about ways to get rid of Conduit you obviously didn’t notice what you were eating.
Now, I could be wrong… but I’d bet my bottom dollar that what Mike was eating was some of Conduit’s Purina Fancy Feast, probably his Sliced Chicken Hearts and Liver Feast in Gravy (http://www.fancyfeast.com/gourmet-cat-products/wet-cat-food/sliced/chicken-hearts-liver-feast-in-gravy). Look familiar? Yummy! Now I know why the pet food bill has gone up the past few weeks. Well, it is top rated gourmet cat food and if it is good enough for my Conduit, it has to be delicious, so go for it Mike – I am 100% behind your new eating regime.
Mike’s new diet will also help us save some much needed pocket money for my upcoming vacation with Conduit. Yes, I have decided to take matters into my own hands so Mike no longer has to figure out sneaky plans to get rid of Conduit. I am going to remove Conduit (and me!) from the house for a nice long vacation. Our plans are coming together nicely:
• Pet passport – CHECK
• Person passport – CHECK
• New matching designer vacation outfits for Conduit and I- CHECK
As soon as I can get my annual leave approved, we are hopping on a plane and out of here. Conduit and I are thinking Egypt – at least one place in the world where people know how to treat cats. Did you know that in Egypt killing a cat, even by accident, resulted in the death penalty? Don’t worry Mike… I’ll make sure the pantry is stocked with Purina so you won’t starve while Conduit and I are having fun in the hot African sun.