Getting Rid of Conduit Won’t Be Easy, Darling

Mike thinks he’s got me on the run with his ideas on how to remove Conduit from my life. Doesn’t he understand that an exotic
vacation is EXACTLY what Conduit and I need… A vacation away from him that is. We don’t care if it’s Alaska, Moscow or Outer Mongolia, for that matter!
So yes, Mike, I HAVE been taking your reason, logic and analytical thinking to heart and am sitting here with Conduit on the lazy boy chair leafing through travel magazines and applying for Conduit’s Pet Passport. You may think it’s going to be easy to get rid of Conduit – but Mike, dearest, it’s time to put on your big boy pants now and stop playing in the kitty litter.

Conduit has the most highly developed set of social skills on the planet. In fact his social, graces are continually putting Mike’s in the shade (probably why he gets so snippy about this sort of thing). My precious feline doesn’t need to ‘get out’ to be able to enjoy life – it’s Mike who needs to go to charm school!
It’s almost as if Mike has some kind of a mental block when it comes to trying so hard to get rid of Conduit. I’ll give you an example…

Along with his far fetched ideas about a vacation for Conduit (read abandonment) in far-flung places, he’s also started getting sneaky with Conduit’s food. Now everyone knows that a cat doesn’t gobble an entire bowl of food in one sitting – like Mike does. Cats are delicate, only eat what they need and snack throughout the day.

Well, Mike’s been stealing Conduit’s food! Just as soon as I put Conduit’s new Balinese-inspired bowl set down (got it on for an absolute bargain!) and turn my back, Mike is there scraping most of the bowl clean. What he’s doing with it, I don’t know, but if he seriously thinks that trying to get rid of Conduit by starving him is going to work, he has another ‘think’ coming!

Conduit (and I) are wise to your shenanigans, Mike and you’re not going to come out of this smiling.


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