How to Get Rid of Conduit for Good

This past holiday season could not have been more festive, except for the extended stay of our own little orange santa-claws. I tried putting him back up the chimney, but Cindy would have nothing of it. Must be a chick thing?

Holiday with Conduit the cat

Also, I think I am seeing things. I was on Google maps the other day searching for a simple way to get rid of Conduit and send him on his vacation, when Conduit Road in Hong Kong came up. I clicked on Conduit Road and I started liking it more and more. It is very high up within the city and a perfect place for Conduit the Cat to visit for an extended period of time. And what is up with Cindy talking about my belly and my beers? I think she should be worried how Conduit is able to imbibe so much alcohol while keeping off the weight. It’s just not natural. Besides, I have only been gaining weight because Conduit is making me eat too much ice cream. With Conduit taking all of the affections of my wife Cindy, and my beers as well, I have sunk into a depression that causes me to fill the void with Ice Cream. That is my psyche-ological issue. Ha! If it were that simple! I am perfectly fine, except that I am getting Cat-itis, a rare form of a very dangerous condition in which I have to tolerate a small furry beast that pretends to be cute, but is really conniving. I am not sure yet of all of the side-effects of Cat-itis, but I would prefer not to find out. In fact, I really need to save Cindy too, so it is a shame that police officer had not read up on the dangers of Cat-itis on WebMD. He would not take Conduit in for being under the influence, and now Cindy and I are in real danger. That is why I really need to figure out a smart way to Get Rid of Conduit. Conduit must go and this time, he won’t be coming back…

#MikeTheCatWarriorRocks

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