Want to get rid of Conduit? Be Afraid… be VERY Afraid

Of course I have CCS. I also have ZTFSS (Zero Tolerance for a Silly Man) and I am getting quite annoyed with Mike and his vendetta against my sweetest sweet Conduit. Maybe I should do what he does and see how it feels. He is plotting to get rid of Conduit, so maybe I should plot to get rid of Mike for a while. Hmm.. I could do with a break away from his madness to spend some quality time with Conduit. We’d eat lovely dinners together, cuddle on the couch and take nice long walks in the park. I’ve placed an online order for Conduit’s very own little leash – encrusted with genuine Swarovski crystals. Now just to get rid of Mike for a week or so before he finds a way to get rid of Conduit first. Maybe if he is away for a while, he will miss Conduit and stop trying to figure out a way how to get rid of Conduit. I can’t believe the things Mike told me this week! First he said that Conduit should be banned from HIS garage (like it’s his and not ours!) because my poor innocent kitty used the garage floor instead of his litter tray. Of course that is not true, Mike must be smelling his sweaty socks he leaves all over the place. When I told him that, he said he can’t be held accountable should one of his weights drop on poor Conduit’s head. As if he ever uses any of those white elephants sitting in the garage. Fancies himself as some muscleman… well I wish he would start exercising another one of his muscles…. the one between his ears! If he thought about it properly, he would see that Conduit is really an excellent family member, more like a child than a pet. He would also start realizing that he is completely delusional about his health and about losing weight, if anything he has gained around his waist from all the beers he is sneaking into the garage – his arms and legs just look skinnier because of the big beer belly. Thanks to my healthy cooking, it is not a serious problem – well not yet. If it was left up to Mike, all he would eat is meat, if I turned my back he’d probably eat Conduit too!
Well, that’s it, if he wants to play games, bring it on! Time for me to start planning too………

#SuperCin

Want to get rid of Conduit?

Want to get rid of Conduit?

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