Ok, my husband has developed some problems. I think he is suffering from feline anxiety syndrome, or possibly cat-aversion-a-ma-litis, or.. he’s just gone nuts. For some reason he has taken a disliking to my sweetest sweet kittycat and has even gone so far as to say he wants to get rid of Conduit. I just don’t get it. We have got to work something out.
Since the day I laid eyes on him, I knew he’d be in my life ’till death do us part. His gorgeous green eyes, his ginger hair… I’m talking about Conduit, not Mike. Sure, I love Mike too but he’s just not making sense lately. I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried suggesting counseling for the two of them, but Mike just did a silent scream and pulled at his hair – see really acting weird… I’ve tried to get him to take Conduit out with him, to the shops, out to see his mates or even to the garage where he is spending a lot of time lately, Mike just shook his head over and over and reversed out of the house – into the garage, of course. I have even made a place for Conduit at the dinner table every night so Mike could get to know him better. Mike just got angry when Conduit’s tail accidentally slipped into his soup. Then Conduit accidentally coughed up a tiny bit of organic steak (he must’ve bitten off a piece too big) and Mike turned redder than the beet in his plate and said: “We are going to get rid of Conduit!”
Well, I’m not having any of that, he gave me the cat for goodness’ sake and I am not going to let him get rid of Conduit. It was the best birthday present by far, like ever. Sure, anything can beat flowers (how unoriginal) and a gift voucher (how unimaginative!) but Mike getting me Conduit sure took the cake and there is no. way. on. earth. I’m going to let him get rid of Conduit.