Get Rid of Conduit!!!

Darn it!

Mike here, and I thought I’d update you on our little situation while Cindy is sleeping. See, for her birthday, I got my wife a present. A present that I have begun to think should have been flowers and a gift card to the Gap. Cindy and I had been together for some time now, and we were like two peas in a pod, or well, 2 balls of yarn tied together with the same piece of string. I’ll get to the analogy in a minute, but a sneak preview is: Get rid of Conduit. That’s his name, the other one competing for my affections. And yes, Conduit is our Cat, not another man. That’s why he’s got to go. At least another guy I could get rid of easy, like calling the police and telling them I have a burglar in my house, a little frame-up never hurt anybody right? But now I have a Cat Burglar, one whose little whiskers and soft meowing, seem to make him more fun to spend time with over me. I mean, I even started meowing in Cindy’s ear this morning, and said “meow, meow, time to change my litter hunny”. I think perhaps I wasn’t as suave as Conduit is when he does it. That is why I have to get rid of Conduit; Conduit must go. I even tried cooking a romantic dinner of whiskers cat food, and served it in the little pink dish my wife seems to love to serve Conduit in, but she just made a face and blew out the candles. I think she is starting to wake up now, better try out my second idea of scratching up all her nice clothes. Just kidding. Or am I…
Yours truly,
#Mike_the_Main_Man_and_not_some_loser_cat_named_Conduit

Get rid of Conduit
Get rid of Conduit!!!
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